Why I Will Not Officiate a Gay Wedding

Let me start off by saying something that is just the honest truth: the Church has been persecuting the gay community in a way that would make Christ and the apostles sick. We, as the Church, have failed homosexuals.

Every time I post something about homosexuality, which I try to a few times a year, I gain and lose some gay friends. I also gain and lose some conservative Christian friends. Let me say what I always say: challenge everything I say against the Scriptures. I never write anything with the hopes that everyone will agree with me, just with the hopes that it will get people thinking.

I know this will probably generate a lot of comments, so let me say this here, because a lot of people don’t read to the end of my articles (this is a long one, too). If you want to comment on any post on Reality in Albuquerque, it must not contain profanity. Encouragements are welcomed, but discussion is encouraged. Arguments get in the way of discussions; don’t be that person. All comments must be referenced with either Scripture reference OR personal experience. Any comments that are argumentative, are rude, or do not meet the previous criteria will be immediately deleted.

Now, let me say that this is not a bash on homosexuality. I believe Satan wants there to be a division between the homosexual community and the Church; so, don’t let this be a part of that. It is never a Christian's job or responsibility to convict others of their sin. That is solely the work of the Holy Spirit. You can read any number of Reality's earlier postings to get a better understanding of how this works, but suffice to say that the Bible says not to judge. (Matthew 7:1-5, 1 Corinthians 4:5, 1 Corinthians 5:12)

This is not even a comment on homosexuality. If I am not your mentor, your accountability partner, your pastor, or a member of your local church body, then it's none of my business what you do in your private life. This is simply meant as an explanation of why, as I pursue full-time ministry, I will not officiate gay weddings nor allow them to be officiated on my church's property, should I ever be made responsible for such a property.

This is also not a bash on the Church. Yes, the Church has some rather large shortcomings when it comes to this and several other topics; however, Christianity is my religion and I stand by it. The Church, as the bride of Christ, is absolutely essential. I’m not throwing out my religion because of a group of hypocrites inside of it. It probably doesn’t surprise you that we’re all hypocrites at times.

To lend you some perspective, let me explain part of what makes me more comfortable talking about homosexuality. Today, I am blessed to have a lot of gay friends. My freshman year of high school, though, I was a self-described homophobe. Which is to say I was really just a judgmental piece-of-work. What business did a high school student, who, by the way, was looking at porn regularly, have judging others for their sexual doings? None. If God had judged me in the way and with the measure I was using then, I would have been sent packing to hell in a split-second.

So, if I bear no ill-will towards homosexuals, why my opposition to performing homosexual wedding ceremonies? We’re almost there. Before we get there, though, I should also add that I would/will not perform or allow on my church’s property polygamous marriages, marriages involving persons who initiated divorce, or marriages presided over by a female officiate.

Why? Well, I promise it’s not because I’m trying to win a popularity contest.

The simple reason is that I think it's important to make a stand for what the Bible says. Part of that is not judging people. I like that part a lot. Another part of that, though, is living in obedience to the Scriptures and never sacrificing principle for comfort. This is extremely uncomfortable for me.

Why not polygamy?
The Bible says that marriage is between one man and one woman. (Genesis 2:24, Leviticus 18:18, Leviticus 21:13, Deuteronomy 17:17, 1 Timothy 3:2, Ephesians 5:25)
Why not persons who initiated divorce?
The Bible says they must remain unmarried unless they did not initiate the divorce. (Malachi 2:14-6, Hebrews 13:4, Matthew 19:3-9, 1 Corinthians 7:10-17, Luke 16:18, Matthew 5:31-32)
Why not female officiates?
The Bible says that women can be deacons (elders or overseers), but not pastors over men. (1 Timothy 2:12, 1 Timothy 3:11)
Why am I against animal cruelty?
Because the Bible condemns it. (Deuteronomy 25:4, Proverbs 12:10, Exodus 23:5, Isaiah 1:11, Numbers 22:32)

The bottom line is, if I claim to be a Bible-believing Christian, but condemn behavior that is convenient to condemn (e.i. homosexuality or animal cruelty) but stay silent about behavior that is forbidden (i.e. female officiates and the marriage of divorce initiators) I am a hypocrite. It would not be ok for me to focus on the parts of the Bible that are convenient for me personally and leave out the parts that are inconvenient for me.

Now, more to the point, what does the Bible say about marriage?

Well, I’ll tell you one thing. Bob Marley had it right: there is one love. There is nothing wrong and everything right about people loving people, regardless of ANYTHING those people might do or say.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." (1 John 4:7-8, 16)
"But whoever loves God is known by God." (1 Corinthians 8:3)

Love, however, is not sex. Sex is sex. Marriage is the one place that sex is permitted. (1 Corinthians 7:1-2,27-28, 1 Corinthians 6:18, Galatians 5:19-21)

Homosexuality is very specifically called out many times in the Bible. (Leviticus 18:21-22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27)

Any sex outside of marriage is sin in the Bible, homosexuality included. But the idea of what constitutes marriage is extremely specific.

Marriage is, above all, a picture of Christ’s relationship with the Church. It’s not just about us as humans. It’s about our relationship with Christ. (Ephesians 5:32-33)

Sex is only not a sin when it happens within God’s design. God’s design is very specifically marriage between one man and one woman. (Read every verse I referenced here and you really will see that.)

So, in summary, I will not officiate a gay marriage because the Bible does not permit me to.

There is no sin that separates you from God more than any other sin. Sin is sin. Separation from God is separation from God. God is love. Love is love.

There is nothing wrong with loving someone of the same sex. The Bible praises friendly, brotherly and sisterly love often, in fact. There is nothing wrong with showing affection. The Bible even says to greet each other with a holy kiss (in the context of the verse, a non-sexual kiss). The problem is when appreciation and attraction becomes obsession and infatuation.

A sex drive is a sex drive. You are the driver. You may not pick what excites you or what attracts you, but you do pick what you dwell on. Where you spend your time and money, your heart follows. If you spend all your time wishing you had the affections of someone of the same sex as you, they become your “type.” If you spend all your time wishing you had the affections of that red-head from fourth period, that becomes your “type.” If you spend all your time learning about and seeking after God, God becomes your “type."

Obviously, that’s an oversimplification, but you just read way more than I planned on writing, so I’m going to leave it there. I’m not judging homosexuals, but I am living in obedience to the Bible that my faith is based on. So, I’m not going to try and convince you to see things my way. Please don’t attack me or my fellows for not seeing your way.

This is much longer than a normal Sunday post, and obviously this is completely different from a regular Reality post altogether, but I felt like it needed to be said.

Stand by your convictions, don’t judge others, and, for God’s sake, be accepting of homosexuals who come to visit your Church. They’re not going to start making out in front of you or start trying to convert you. They’re searching for the same love you are.