Joy in Every Circumstance

I remember the funerals of three grandparents, one great-aunt, one cousin, three childhood friends, one co-worker and one nephew. I’ve been to more funerals, but those are the ten I remember most clearly. The causes of death included “old age,” cancer, drugs, and “birth defects.”

I used to hate funerals, and, to be fair, I do prefer a good wedding, but the former has become increasingly beautiful to me. After the death of his wife, C.S. Lewis wrote one of the most touching and revealing things I’ve ever read. “The pain now is part of the happiness then. That is the deal.”

I do believe that grief and tragedy are parts of understanding joy. Death teaches us a whole lot about living. Loss teaches us a whole lot about loving. I do not believe, though, that grief was meant to be without joy even in the moment. Joy is always the aim.

Joy is mentioned in the Bible well over 200 times. So, why does it seem so often out of our grasp? Would it be so hard for God to just make us joyful? Why can’t He just give us the answers and take away the pain? We give Him our lives when we become Christians; so, why do our lives not become more joyful?

Jesus said he came so that we can “have life more abundantly,” and he spoke so that his joy may be in us and our joy may be made full (John 10:10; John 15:11). Those are the promises. Where is the fulfillment?

When I picked up my brother on the morning my nephew died, he looked at me and forced a half-smile. He then said the most powerful words I have ever heard in my life. Words that to this day, six years later, I can’t remember without tearing up. He said, “I never knew I could love anyone so much. He could never give anything back and he took so much time and attention and care, but every moment I spent with him I fell so much more in love. Maybe it was because he couldn’t give anything back. I think I caught a little glimpse of how God loves us.”

That was the day I saw unconditional love in a portion of its glory. My three-month-old nephew taught me more about love in one moment, without saying a single word, than I can hope to learn in the rest of my life.

God’s love for me was so real in that moment that my heart was overflowing with thankfulness and I could not help but have hope for the future with Him. It was a moment of God-given joy birthed out of thankfulness and hope. These two attributes are not so elusive as their resultant joy.

Thankfulness comes from the perspective gained in prayer and fellowship with encouraging believers. Hope comes from knowing the past, both your own and the Bible, and learning to recognize and expect God’s faithfulness. Thankfulness is a decision made constantly. Hope is a discipline refined constantly. It takes having both consistently to experience joy.

If you struggle with hope and thankfulness, consider obedience. Have you ever wondered why a God so concerned with our joy gave us so many commands to live by? Consider Jesus’ words:

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” - John15:9-12

Consider the possibility that obedience was not meant as a corral keeping us from freedom and happiness, but was actually designed as a conduit to experiencing joy. It is not always easy to have hope and thankfulness, but we need to find these for joy. We can always obediently thank God for who He is and what He’s done, obediently place our hope in Him by waiting on Him, and obediently show His love to those around us.

Joy is possible every day in every circumstance. As we walk closer and closer with the Lord, there comes a time when we have a harder time explaining why we have sadness than when we have joy. Our joy begins to overflow in every circumstance.

I have found joy, through thankfulness and hope in Christ, in my three-month-old nephew’s death, in my friend’s suicide, in my friends’ deaths from cancer, in being cheated on, in being let down and in letting down others. Joy is not a victim of circumstance. Joy is the reality of Christ’s presence in every circumstance.

Discussion points:

The Bible tells us a dozen different times not to confide with angry persons. Who are the encouraging people in your life? Who might you need to stop confiding in?

“Venting” is greatly encouraged in today’s society. However, Proverbs 29:11 calls people who vent “fools.” What does venting actually do? Are your friends who “vent” on Facebook more joyful than the people who, instead, seek the private counsel of an encouraging friend?

Find someone who has read his or her Bible every day for a long time. Ask them if they are hopeful and how they regain hope when it seems lost.

Find someone who prays constantly. Ask them if they are thankful and how they regain thankfulness when it seems lost.

Read through the Psalms this week. Notice how joy is found when it is lost. Can you find hope and thankfulness in each instance?