The Impact of Words

We have a hellishly skewed view of the impact of our words. All too often we make the excuse, "I didn't mean it." Some even say, "I may come off in such a way, but I'm really...." I think we'd all agree, it's time we stop B.S.ing ourselves. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not careful enough with what I say.

Words are taken far too lightly. Our words have the power of life and death. Salvation even comes from the belief of our heart and the confession of our MOUTHS! (Prov. 18:21; Rom. 10:9)

Why? Because what is in our hearts is made concrete and is brought to life by what comes out of our mouths. Your words direct the course of your life and even determine your character. Actions may speak louder, but words go as deep as swords both into our own hearts and the hearts of those around us. (Luke 6:45; James 3:6; Prov. 12:18)

Hurt people hurt people; forgiven people forgive people; loved people love people. The response of our mouths defines the condition of our hearts. (Prov. 15:1; Luke 7:47; 1 John 4:19)

One slip of the tongue, which we may not even notice, will take, on average, five positive interactions, related to that statement, to counteract. If someone is teased about their hair, for example, it usually takes at least five compliments about their hair, outfit, etc., before they stop thinking about it and become as content as they were previously; not encouraged, just back to neutral.

Be the light that pours joy out onto others and you will find your own joy to be overflowing. This is not a "karma" thing; this is a Spirit thing. "The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed." (Prov. 11:25)

Let's be clear on one thing: I'm not telling you to lie about what you are going through. Disciplining our tongues to be forgiving, loving, and encouraging does not mean that you cannot acknowledge circumstances and struggles. In fact, to be joyful and encouraging, it helps to not be burdened by something we might be holding in.

The uninhibited, unburdened life is found by either becoming one with the shadows or by living a life without shadows. In secrets and shadows there is shame because shadows are used for evil, but what is brought into the light becomes light and can only be used for good. When we confess our mistakes and our struggles to a brother or sister, we take all the potential harm from Satan and turn it into active good in Christ. (Eph. 5:13)

My prayer is that the Church be a community so filled with light that, when a repentant heart exposes the shadows of the past, those shadows are so absolutely eradicated they cannot be found in even the memories of the people there; that joy and love be found so overwhelming, that even the most pained heart finds itself afloat with hope.

I believe that you and I have the ability, and responsibility, to be transparent and not be jerks. It is possible for even the worst of arguments to begin, end, and consist of love. I wonder if I can convince young people that it is possible to communicate what is frustrating them without lashing out or tearing down. I wonder if I can convinced older people that kindness, and not guilt, leads us to repentance. I can't on my own.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Eph. 4:29-32)

Discussion points:

Words of life come from thankfulness. Being encouraging to others starts with praising God in your own storm. I have found that reading my Bible every day gives me the perspective I need to be thankful in all things. What helps you to do that?

What effect does/has gossip have/had on your life?

Think about who the encouraging people in your life are. Are those the people you are spending time with or are you spending time with those who will share in your bitterness and make excuses for your shame?

Would you rather spend your time making excuses for your mistakes or be free of the shame of your mistakes once and for all?

How can we encourage others to bring their shadows to light?

Choose one person every day this week to speak five words of life to throughout the day. Notice what impact it has on their life and also notice what impact it has on your own life.