Belief vs Trust

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Love itself can be rather an unbearable burden. It seems that way at times, anyways. When I was a child I thought the question “does God love me?” to be absurd. It seemed plain to me that, if God is love, He loves all those under Him, just as shade shades all that come under it. To be perfectly honest, having mucked up my life as terribly and as often as I have in my few years, it seems even more absurd to me, now, that He doesn’t love me. He has, after all, saved me countless times beyond my salvation. The question made perfect sense to me, though, most of my high school days.

My question of God’s love never stemmed from my terrible and intolerable circumstances. I cannot think of a single time in my blessed life when I have not though that I have it better than I deserve.  The question was the deserts of that love. What have I done that God should love me? Why does God believe in me when I am, at times, hardly able to believe in Him?

I can’t say that I understand love completely. As C.S. Lewis said, “This is one of the miracles of love: It gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted.” Clearly, this is an uncharacteristically personal composition for a Sunday study, but I felt a burden to redeem the romanticism of belief.

Not so long ago I scoured the Bible in search for a doctrine of trust. What I came back with was a full page of verses that echo the sentiments of Micah 7:5: “Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips.” Frankly, i was disappointed. I am as deep-seated a romantic as any other who grew up reading Lewis, Tolkien, London, and Stevenson. And yet, here is the Holy Scriptures throwing conventional, or I should say modern, romanticism into the compost by saying "do not trust.” What is love without trust?

Well, the Bible does say to trust. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) Still, if God does not trust us and we are not to trust others, can we really all be in love?

I have thirteen nephews and nieces. Or it could be fourteen, now; honestly, I might have miscounted just now. In any case, more than a handful. Many of these young scalawags can ride bicycles even without training wheels. Every one of them was as blessed as I to have a father who held onto their seat, running hunched over behind them beaming widely, believing with every step that they could ride without help, but not trusting them to do it without help until they were ready. When they fell they were caught, because their fathers knew they might fall. Their belief that their child could do it, though, never faltered.

Life may not be such a pretty picture as learning to ride a bike, but it’s still a beautiful portrait of love and belief. If we can learn how to let go of trust, to know that those around us and we ourselves might fall at any moment, and in turn look for how we might catch others and trust our Father to catch us, then, I believe, we might begin to understand the nature of love. If we stop making expectations of ourselves and of others and we begin to love unconditionally, if we let ourselves and others be the beautiful messes we are and trust God to save us in spite of ourselves, perhaps we can make it through this life with a little less heartbreak and a little more hope.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” (John 14:1)

Discussion points:

There is not a single place in the Bible that says to trust humans, in any type of relationship. I believe, though, that distrust is still poison in any relationship. If love and trust are not interdependent, I would say that belief and distrust should be mutually exclusive. Do you disagree? As humans, are we even capable of letting go of distrust or of expectations?

The most romantic love affair in history was between you and God. God never once trusted you, but has never and will never stop believing in you. Is this type of love only for a child and their father, or does it apply to a husband and their bride also?

Are you willing to trust God to believe in you? Are you willing to accept unconditional, unexpectant, and untrusting love?

What expectations should we have for ourselves and for others? What expectations should we have for our spouses? Should we have any?

This is entirely mine (Seven) and my mother’s opinion on trust in relationships. It was not always my opinion, but was shaped by what I found in the Bible and the life experiences of myself and my parents. I encourage you to share your thoughts and opinions and have a discussion about this. But, give a reason for EVERYTHING you say, whether it’s a passage from scripture or your own experiences, let us know where your thoughts come from. We grow by sharing not just our knowledge with each other but where we got our knowledge from.

Forgiveness

G.K. Chesterton once said, "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.” It’s no secret that those closest to us are often the hardest to forgive. I would even say that the one closest to us, namely ourselves, is the hardest to forgive. 

Forgiveness is probably the most difficult of all Christian ideals. For all therestrictions the Christian lifestyle implies, it is the notion of forgiving others and allowing ourselves to be forgiven that creates the most hesitation when considering Christianity. Make no mistake, the Christian ideal is tough. Chesterton also said, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.”

We are to forgive, though, and we are to be forgiven. “Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved.” -C.S. Lewis

It’s part of God’s nature to forgive. Isaiah says that those who turn to God will be freely pardoned (55:6-7). The Psalmist said, “You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you” (86:5). I do not think, then, that it should come as a surprise that when the Lord Jesus Christ walked among men he told us, “...if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).

So why must we allow ourselves to be forgiven? Why must we forgive ourselves? If we had the ability to love others without first loving ourselves, then what would be the point behind the second greatest commandment? “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” -Leviticus 19:18

Love and forgivingness go hand in hand. Jesus also taught us, when a woman who lived in sin wept at his feet, "Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven” (Luke 7:47-48).

There’s more to forgiving others, though. It is recognizing the reality of our circumstances. What happened when Christ died for us? Are we forgiven or not?

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." -Psalm 103:8-12

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” -2 Corinthians 5:17-21

Likewise, Henry Ward Beecher said, “A forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note, torn in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the man.” God forgave us this way; so, that is how we are to forgive others.

There is more to forgiving others than to just ensure that we are forgiven ourselves. We forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ even before they repent so that they can be gently restored and so that we fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:1-2). We forgive and comfort those who have caused us grief so that they “will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow” (2 Corinthians 2:5-8). And we forgive in order to “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” just as Christ removed those from our hearts when he forgave us (Ephesians 4:31-32).

"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?" -Romans 2:1-4

God’s kindness leads us to repentance. Maybe we were meant to be that kindness to lead others.

Discussion points:

Alexander Pope once said, “To err is human, to forgive, divine.” What do you think he meant by that?

Was a time in your life when forgiveness led you to repent? Is there ever a time we should not forgive?

Next week we’ll be talking about the difference between believing in someone and trusting in someone. Do you think that you need to believe in someone to forgive them? Do you need to trust someone to forgive them? Why or why not?

Jesus forgave us even before we knew we had sinned (Luke 23:34). If someone knows what they are doing is wrong and still does it, they are “unrepentant.” Can forgiveness be given if it is not asked for? Can forgiveness be given if it is not accepted? How can/should we emulate that?

Is there forgiveness without forgetting? What does forgetting mean to you? What scripture did you refer to for your answer?

God forgives and remembers no more (Hebrews 8:12, 10:17-18). God is all-knowing (Deuteronomy 29:29, Job 34:21, Hebrews 4:13, Colossians 2:3, 1 Corinthians 2:10). So, what does it mean that He forgets our sins?

Mistletoe

Mistletoe has a beautiful history. The oldest story I found concerning mistletoe comes from Norse mythology. In this story, Frigga, the goddess of love, is the mother of Balder, the god of the summer son. Loki, the god of mayhem, made an arrowhead of mistletoe and gave it to Hoder, the blind god of winter, who shot the arrow and killed Balder. Frigga was able to revive Balder and, in her joy, kissed everyone who came under the mistletoe, where he lay.

Many cultures, not just the Norse, regard the mistletoe as a symbol of peace and love. Traditionally, warring states or even warring spouses, would make peace under the plant. It became associated with the belief that love could conquer death. Druidic traditions may have led to its being considered a symbol of fertility and couples would have their first kiss under it at their wedding.

In the middle ages, young ladies would wait under the plant and could not refuse a kiss from anyone. The kisses could mean romance, or just pledges of friendship. If they went the whole night without being kissed, it would mean they would be married that year. Regardless, the plant was always burned on Twelfth Night to keep those who had kissed under the plant from remaining unwed. Sometimes, if a couple in love kisses under the mistletoe, it can be interpreted as a promise to marry and is said to predict happiness and longevity.

In Europe mistletoe was traditionally used at Christmas Eve festivals, except in France where it was used on New Year’s Eve. Today, mistletoe is used throughout the holiday season. Regardless of which culture is responsible for which tradition, its symbolism remains: love came into the world to overcome death. Today Christians hang the plant during Christmas as a symbol of the virgin birth of Christ, which promises peace on earth and goodwill towards men.

Who Are You?

In the fifth grade, we had to write about who we were for a class project. Naturally, for that age, we all wrote about our families and our ancestry. As seniors in high school we all had to write about who we were for college application essays. Naturally, for that assignment, we all wrote about our dreams and passions. In college I’ve had to write about who I am for job application cover letters. Naturally, for that pursuit, I wrote about my experience and accomplishments.

If you are reading this, you probably have a Facebook. Under your profile you have an “About” section. Most of us fill that with some cliches about experiencing life or a fun quote or something, and there’s nothing wrong with that. What is your answer, though, when someone asks you who you are? Do you tell them about your family? Your passions? Your accomplishments?

You probably know where I’m going with this, but let me challenge you to think about that answer. What would it mean to tell the world that your family is Christ’s, your passions are Christ’s and your accomplishments are Christ’s? What would it mean to believe those things?

The fact of the matter is that we are children of God (John 1:11), co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17) and citizens of heaven (Philippians 3:20). We are Christ’s passion: precious, honored and loved by God (Isaiah 43:4), His friends (John 15:15) and worth dying for (Ephesians 5:25). We are the accomplishments of Christ, who purchased us (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), called us to His purpose (Romans 8:28), justified us (Romans 5:1), redeemed us with a guarantee of His promise in the Spirit (2 Corinthians 1:21-22) to finish His work in us (Philippians 1:6) and made perfect through His sacrifice (Hebrews 10:14).

Children of God, loved by God, and made perfect to God, all through Christ. Whether you’ve been a Christian for hours or for decades, those statements will never lose their power. What would it look like to live like that, though?

My dad always reminded me, when I was younger, that I had family name. Everything I did, reflected on my family and, so I had a responsibility to make my family proud. He was right (2 Corinthians 5:20). What would it be like to live every moment to make our Father proud?

He would remind me to that we always become our passions. What we pursued would dictate what we became. He was right (Ephesians 2:10). What would it be like to live our lives with the passion Christ had for our lives?

He also reminded me that a man is only as good as his actions. Everything we did became a part of who we are to the world. He was right (2 Corinthians 12:9). What would it look like to live with the confidence of being perfected through Christ?

Discussion points:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
How can we live that out?

In our society, we are being constantly compared to those around us. What should our inward response (what we say to ourselves) and our outward response (what we say to the world) be? Should we tell the world that we are “perfect” and that they need to repent so that they can be perfect too? Is there a better response?

At some point, everyone struggles with depression, disappointment, or discouragement. How can we reach out to our “family” to overcome these? Are these things we should combat alone?

If we are co-heirs to the Kingdom, that makes all Christians Princes and Princesses. Besides Christ giving His life for us and washing the feet of His followers, what other differences are there in our royalty from the world’s view of royalty?

Who are you?

Who is Santa Claus?

Who is Santa Clause? Well, Saint Nicholas (Clause comes from the Russian and German variations on the name) was a 5'0" Greek bishop of the city of Myra (Demre, part of modern-day Turkey). He lived from March 15th, AD 270 to December 6th, AD 343. He had a beard, white when he died at 73, and is sometimes depicted wearing the now traditional red garbs of a bishop, though he likely never did. 

So, how does he fit into Christmas? Honestly, not very well, but close enough. His feast day is on December 6th every year and for centuries, people have exchanged gifts to honor his generosity. Nicholas of Myra, though, had four major legends surrounding to him.

In one account, there was a terrible famine. A butcher in town capture three children, killed them, and set them in barrels to be cured and sold as ham. Nicholas saw through the butcher's schemes, however and when he prayed all three children came back to life.

In another account, he saved three innocent thieves from being killed at their execution.

Perhaps his most famous story is how he stopped a merchant ship in port at Myra and asked the sailors to unload wheat for the town. He promised the sailors that they would not lose any wheat when they came to port later and, when they did, the sailors weighed the wheat to find that it still weighed the exact same amount.

His connection to Christmas, though, comes from another story. Nicholas became aware of a poor man who had three daughters. The man was too poor to afford their dowries and was distraught because, as poor women, his daughters would be destined to prostitution. When Nicholas heard about this, he decided to help them. He threw three bags of gold coins through the man's window, each bag with more than enough to pay the dowry of a daughter.

There are many stories to how Nicholas got the man the gold bags. In one account he did this over three nights. In another they were years apart, each time the night before the daughter was to come of age. One account is responsible for our tradition of hanging up stockings at Christmas and Santa coming down a chimney!

In this account, the man decided to catch Nicholas in the act and find out who had been helping him. Some accounts say he did just this, and that Nicholas said, "Thank God for this; it was not from me." Other say that Nicholas heard of the poor man's plot, and, so, threw the bag down the chimney. The daughter had hung up her stockings over the embers in the fire place that night and, so, when the bag of gold fell down the chimney, it landed right in her stocking.

Regardless of which accounts you go by, Nicholas the Wonderworker was an incredible man. If you practice Santa Clause in your home, be sure you honor the real man's memory by telling your children about who the real man was.

In the world, not of the world?

There is often a sense of confusion amongst Christians as to where we are supposed to draw the line when it comes to associating with the world. There is good reason for this. The Bible commands us to be a part of the world without judging and commands us not to associate with darkness without exception. So how do we reconcile this?

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Be in the world, not of the world?" The phrase comes from one of Jesus' prayers for his disciples (John 17:6-19). It's commonly used today as instruction to Christians not to associate with the people they minister to. Here's the thing, that prayer was a prayer of protection from evil. It was not a prayer that the world be separated from believers. In fact Jesus specifically said "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one." (John 17:15)

So here we have and issue. We are supposed to be in the world, clearly, but we are supposed to be set apart from the world. How? Thankfully, Jesus continued his prayer. "Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified." (John 17:17-19) The word "sanctify" literally means "set apart" or "make holy."

So, the way we are sanctified, then, is by the truth. In other words, when we live by truth, by the Word of God (the Scriptures), we set our selves apart. Now, before I continue, I want to remind you to always challenge everything I say against the scriptures. You may not agree with what I have to say about this, and that's ok.

Here is my supposition: If someone finds that something is permissible, say drinking alcohol or celebrating certain holidays, they are not to look down on, or even comment on, the behavior of someone who does not partake in these things. Likewise, someone who finds things impermissible is not to judge someone who does partake in those things.

Now, before you crucify me for teaching this, let me try to anticipate your reaction. Ephesians 5:11 says, "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them." You are correct! Now consider that the language and context of this verse is not a command for how to treat other people. In fact, the only command here is that when people offer "empty words" you are not to "partner with them" because they will lead you into disobedience (vs. 6-7).

The command here is that YOU should not have anything to do with the darkness. Meaning that YOU should not do what the disobedient do and that YOU should expose YOUR OWN "fruitless deeds of darkness" (vs. 11-12).

Verses 13 and 14 explain the result of exposing our own sins to light. We wake up! The darkness has no hold on us whatsoever. In fact verse 13 says "everything exposed by the light becomes visible - and everything that is illuminated BECOMES LIGHT."

Now, here's the truth. My supposition is almost a direct quote of Romans 14:3-6. Now here is the real issue. Romans 14:16 says "Therefore do not let what you know is good to be spoken of as evil." In Acts 10:15 Jesus says to Peter, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean." At the same time, we're also told that, if what we do causes someone to struggle in their walk with God, we should not do those things. In all cases, either for or against, we are told, "So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God" (Romans 14:22a).

The bottom line is that I don't have an answer for if you should drink alcohol or celebrate holidays or eat certain food or anything else, really. I do, however, ask that you consider part of the story of Gideon.

So Gideon built an altar to the Lord there and called it The Lord Is Peace. To this day it stands in Ophrah of the Abiezrites. That same night the Lord said to him, “Take the second bull from your father’s herd, the one seven years old. Tear down your father’s altar to Baal and cut down the Asherah pole beside it. Then build a proper kind of altar to the Lord your God on the top of this height. Using the wood of the Asherah pole that you cut down, offer the second bull as a burnt offering.” (Judges 6:24-26)

Discussion points:

If someone comes to your house who believes that Christmas is an evil tradition, what steps would be appropriate to take to make sure that you don't drive a wedge between them and their faith in God? What would be inappropriate?

Consider that you believe that wearing certain clothes is a sin. You choose not to wear those clothes for whatever reason. Should you or should you not share your convictions with others?

Gideon used things (the alter, the pole, and a location) made for evil to worship God. Can and should we take that example with other things? What examples can you think of?

When sharing your opinions, please remember, this is a discussion, not an argument. You are here to share your thoughts, not convince others of your standpoint. Argumentative comments will be immediately deleted. Have personal experience and/or a direct reference to Scripture to back up all of your viewpoints. "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." (Romans 14:19)

Would You Read Seven's Book?

These are from a book I’m writing about love and relationships, long in the making. This includes excerpts from the introductory chapters, from the spirituality chapters and from the co-dependency chapters:

When a ring fits you, you don't even realize it's there. That ring is made for that finger. When you take off a ring that fits after a while, you feel like you're unbalanced - like you're missing a part of you….

Your life-calling and your family are things that are a part of you, of your identity. They are things that you can't help but feel passionately about. When you find that one, that person that was made for you and you for them, you will feel that passion. You will look at them and say, "That's who I am." In one moment you will realize that about them - that they fit just like a ring on your finger. It may be years after meeting them, but, when God has prepared both of you for each other, He will open your eyes to what He already sees….

Treat him or her as a traveling companion and your relationship as a trek worth taking. As with any good adventure, the journey is as important and wonderful as the destination. Don't miss out on it or the destination will seem to be lacking….

It takes a moment to see someone; it takes holding those moments captive to know someone; it takes thousands of captive moments to know someone well. Take your time. It takes decades to begin to discover who you are. It takes a lifetime to begin to discover who they are….

Loving is seeing someone through God's eyes. The more you get to know them - the more of them you see - the more you can love them. You can never stop loving them more, so long as you take the time to get to know them more. But, if you never take the time to get to know them well, you'll never see them as God does and, so, will never love them well. Rushing into a "loving" relationship may be the least loving thing you can do….

Unless you are completely content alone in a relationship with God, able to love yourself by yourself, you will never be content in a relationship, or love someone else well and accept love….God does not bring two people together so that they may become closer to each other, but so that they may become closer to Him….You could also say that two people aren't brought together just to get love from each other, but to learn how to be loved and how to love others. By living in love, you can love deeper than ever without ever having the fear of losing love because you'll come to find that love cannot be lost. People will let you down, but love will not. So, as long as both people in a relationship are focused more on love than they are on themselves or each other, then they will not be able to help but love themselves and each other more and more….If you want a loving relationship, you need to know God. God is love.

Candy Canes

Candy canes have become an almost integral part of the holidays. What no one seems to know, though, is where they came from.

Peppermint sticks have been around since at least the early 1800’s. There are many colorful stories about the origin of our modern candy canes, with the traditional white and red stripes, but the truth is that not a single one of these stories is well documented enough to call fact.

Christians have taught, since possibly as far back as the early 1900’s, that the red and white candy cane is a symbol for Jesus. Traditionally, the “J” shape stands for Jesus and doubles as a shepherd’s crook, signifying Christ being the Good Shepherd. The red stripes represent his blood and the white stripes represent how His blood makes us pure.

Though the origin of the candy is disputed, every year, when hanging these little sweets on Christmas trees and stuffing them in stockings, families all over the world use them to share the importance and meaning behind Christ’s sacrifice.

"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” John 10:11

"But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

Christmas Trees

Evergreen trees have a long standing use in winter celebrations. Egyptians used evergreens to symbolize life overcoming death. Romans decorated their houses with greens to celebrate life. Druids used holly and mistletoe to symbolize eternal life and put evergreen branches above doorways to keep away bad spirits. Germans and Scandinavians placed evergreen trees inside their homes as a display of their hope in the upcoming spring.

The way evergreens found their way into Christianity is through St. Boniface, who converted the German people to Christianity. According to tradition, Boniface came across a group of pagans who were worshiping an oak tree. He cut down the tree and before his eyes a young fir tree sprung up from the roots of the oak tree, which he took as a sign of the Christian faith. The tree’s triangular shape was used to explain the trinity, similarly to how St. Patrick used clovers in Ireland. The evergreen became a symbol of eternal life.

The tree’s ties to Christmas came around the year 1500. One Christmas Eve, Martin Luther was walking through the woods when he saw a beautiful grouping of evergreens that were dusted in snow and shimmering in the moonlight. He went home, set up a little fir tree inside and shared the story with his children. He tied candles to the tree and lighted them in honor of Christ’s birth. From that time, many Christians would bring a fir tree inside on Christmas Eve and decorate it to share the hope of Christ’s birth with their children.

The tradition wouldn’t have reached the United States until the American Revolution, when Hessian troops fought for Britain, or possibly later by German immigrants. It wasn’t until 1870 that all schools closed for Christmas Day, and up to that point celebrating Christmas was banned in many schools and churches.

Today, Christmas trees a central part to our winter celebrations: they are decorated with lights, as Christ was the light that came into the world; they are trimmed into triangle shapes, to represent the trinity; they are topped with a star or an angel, symbolizing Christ’s birth being announced to the world; and they are surrounded with presents, so we can practice giving to others to celebrate what God gave to us.

Origin of Christmas

Around A.D. 380 until the 1800's there were two common dates on which the feast we now know as "Christmas" was celebrated. One was December 25th, which was exactly 9 months after the traditional conception of Christ. The other was January 6th, which tended to celebrate Christ's baptism more than His birth.

Over hundreds of years, the time in-between came to be known as the 12 Days of Christmas. In many countries, January 6th is now known as Three Kings Day, and is the day on which gifts are given. Sometimes one gift is exchanged on Christmas day and the rest on the 6th. Others celebrate St. Nicholas' Feast day, December 6th, and exchange small gifts for an entire month.

The bottom-line is that we seem to be capable of making rather advantageous compromises as the Christian Church when it comes to celebrating something important that the Bible doesn't give us clear directives on.

Most Abrahamic religious figures place the birth of Jesus of Nazareth around mid April. Some claim to know, without a doubt, that He was born in September. Regardless...it wasn't made important in the Bible, so, we can assume that we aren't to make much importance of it either. What we seem to be able to agree on is that it was not during Summer. At some point between September and April (which, I think, coincides quite nicely with the "Holiday Season") the greatest miracle that ever happened took place- God became flesh to fulfill a promise that was thousands of years in the making.

In light of all the controversy surrounding Christmas, allow me to repeat one of my favorite quotes by G.K. Chesterton. "The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a good discussion." Of course there is always the good ol' Bible that tells us to drop quarrels and not to quarrel and so on. (Prov. 17:14; 18:1)

The posts I put up this month are not intended for arguing or causing disunion. Hopefully, they will help you to find more meaning in the season. More to come!

Angry Persons

Frustration comes when we try to control our situation. Anger comes when we are overcome by our situation. Hurt comes when we make love conditional and expectations (trust) vital. A vengeful/begrudging spirit is the result of being overcome by hurt.

Every one of us has seen a child throw a tantrum in a store. We've all seen road rage. We've all seen the pictures and videos of rioting and looting. We don't need to teach anyone what anger is or what it looks like. What many of us don't know, however, is what to do with it and, often, where it comes from.

Anger usually comes from one of two places: frustration or hurt. Anger by itself is not a sin any more than alcohol is by itself sinful. However, being an angry person is just as destructive as being a drunkard.

Rather than do an eight-part series on anger, I'll give us biblical guidelines on anger and, hopefully, we can expound on these ideas in the comments throughout the week.

The Bible reveals several traits of an angry person and how to counteract them:

1. An angry person causes conflict; A peace-maker is patient. (Proverbs 15:18, 18:1, 29:22)

2. An angry person speaks without thinking; a righteous person weighs his answers. (Proverbs 15:28; James 1:19-20)

3. An angry person does not learn when rescued; let them pay the price or they will never understand. (Proverbs 19:19)

4. An angry person uses harsh language; a caring person is gentle in their response. (Proverbs 15:1)

5. An angry person infects the people around him; do not be friends with angry people. (Proverbs 22:24-25)

6. An angry person does not avoid fighting; a selfless person does not argue. (Proverbs 17:14, 18:1; Romans 12:18)

7. An angry person seeks revenge, repaying evil for evil; an overcomer blesses and does good to all people. (Romans 12:17-21; 1 Thessalonians 5:15; Proverbs 24:29)

8. An angry person holds grudges; those who trust God forgive. (Leviticus 19:18; 1 Peter 2:23; 3:9; Matthew 5:7,38-39; Mark 11:25)

Prideful, unforgiving, untrusting (of God), expectant (of people), and impatient hearts succumb to anger. Patient, considerate, gentle, and selfless hearts overcome anger with love and mercy. Love does not mean ignoring evil. Mercy does not mean giving in to evil. You are never responsible for the actions of other people. You are always responsible for your own actions.

For fear of putting my own ideas into your heads, I'll leave this here. There's a lot of room for expounding, but that's up to you.

Discussion points:

When, if ever, is anger justifiable?

Who makes you the most angry? Who angers you most often? Why?

The Bible says to drop a matter before it leads to a quarrel. What's the difference between backing down from a fight and dropping an issue that could lead to a fight? Is there a difference?

How do we dissolve friendships with angry people and still be friendly people?

What tips do you have for others to help them with their anger?

Finding Your Way

Acts 17:28 NLT
"for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.’"

"Not all who wander are lost." -JRR Tolkien
"He who hesitates is lost." -Traditional Danish Saying

When I was a small child I wanted to be a prophet. I was told that there were no prophets, but I didn't care. I wanted to be one. At the same young age I was told that was going to be a minister. Apparently the church of my youth had no problem declaring what God revealed, they just didn't like calling it prophecy.

Almost twenty years later, I am now preparing to move into full-time ministry and actively participate in prophesy in my church. God takes His time when establishing our lives. He is 100% invested in us and His plans for our lives were not taken lightly.

Jeremiah 10:23 NIV
"LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps."

The Israelites wandered for 40 years in the desert in order to discover their identity as God’s people. They were never lost except when they hesitated to enter the promised land. If you feel like you've been lost in the wilderness, God may be preparing your heart for battle. You can rest assured, though, that He has you in His hand and will see His word come to life in you.

Proverbs 20:24 NIV
"A person’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand their own way?"

So how do we know God's purpose in our lives? Prayer, prophecy and scripture are the guides recommended to us in the Bible. Let me recommend something. Look at where God has been directing your life by considering what He has done in your life over the past couple of years. Can you see a direction forming? Can you see that He has been preparing you for something?

There are many directions that are plainly given in scripture. By familiarizing yourself with the Word, and dedicating yourself to prayer, God becomes astronomically more accessible to you. Set yourself to living out the commands that He has for us. The rest of the plan He has your life will become evident when you are aligning your mind and actions to His way of doing things.

Proverbs 16:9 NIV
"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps."

God has been directing your path, whether you realized it or not. Look at where you were two years ago and compare it to where you are today. What has God been doing in your life? Where has he been directing you? Have you been fighting His direction?

I am who I have been and the decisions I made were my own. I am also who I want to be and the decision to be that person is also my own. When I no longer to try live in opposition with my goals and my mistakes I will have learned to accept myself and will ultimately find myself when I recognize the direction my path has always been leading.

Don't worry if you feel like you've lost your way or if you feel totally lost. God knows exactly where you're going and exactly where you are. Trust Him.

Discussion points:

Consider where you were during this season two years ago. What has God done in your life? Have you been fighting with Him or living for Him?

It has been said that, so long as you keep moving, you are never truly lost. Do you agree or disagree with this? Why?

If we cannot understand our own way do not direct our own steps, what is the point of planning our course? How can you plan for success while seeking God's will for your life?

What does it look like to seek God's will and direction for your life? What examples can you share with others to encourage them to see God working in their lives?

Anxiety

When we blame our problems on anxiety, we are saying to God that we don't trust Him. When we blame circumstances we are saying that we don't trust Him. 

Emotions are not bad. They allow us to feel the real world around us. Anxiety is not bad. It shows us the reality of our circumstances: that we are not in control. It forces us to rely on God for peace. Restlessness is not bad. We may feel like we need to run away or escape, but God gives us nervous energy so that we have the energy needed to do what He wants us to.

You call on Jesus in prayer, rest in Him in worship, and listen to Him from His Word. Pray out loud, put on worship music and sing with it, and read the Bible out loud. Give Him your anxiety and your frustration. Then, to calm your anxious heart, you put in motion the purpose that He puts in your heart. Give the devil no foothold with which he might deceive you into thinking that you are not exactly where God wants you to be.

Discussion points:

What things do you need to give to God?

What does the world say about anxiety?

Are you in control of every situation? Of any situation?

Proverbs 19:3 says "A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the Lord." Can you relate you this? Do you agree with this?

Semantics

I had a term named after me at work. I have the tendency to say things like, "Well if you had been there then you would have seen it." Or "Well if you hadn't fallen then you wouldn't have broken your leg." In other words, "If it was this then it would be that." They began to call this "Seven Logic." They meant it endearingly, but, quite obviously, they were usually pretty stupid things to be saying.

I believe that I do it because, like the rest of the world, I love contrasts. Contrasts make things into puzzles. I can organize puzzles. I can categorize differences. One of the more popular contrasts, throughout history, is the Miraculous versus, Wisdom.

This contrast has never changed, but we have called it by different names: Religious verses Rational, for example, or Metaphysics verses Physics. In Christ's day, Reason, which we would today term Philosophy, was a combination of Logic and Science. They were completely intertwined. Today we attempt to do the same and call it Science, rather than Reason. Still the argument is the same: Supernatural verses Natural.

Now, clearly, none of these contrasts are perfect as you could hardly get a group of people to agree on the definitions of the terms themselves, much less hold a conversation about the terms. You're more likely to have prestigious "Philosophers" and "Scientists" argue back and forth about meanings of words and proper names and perspectives and on and on and on. So let's not do that.

Instead, I want to simply point out that Christianity fits into neither of these categories. It is outside of the contrast. It does not fit any mold.

Paul, who hated the arguments that he was often pulled into by his day's great thinkers, gives us an example of what I mean in his first letter to the believers in Corinth.

'For it is written: “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”

'Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

'But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.' (1 Corinthians 1:19, 22-25, 27-29 NIV)

In my own understanding, and I freely admit that I don't understand it at all, God is not concerned with what we consider power and what we consider understanding. He is not concerned with Religion, Power, Knowledge, Science or anything else that we use as standards with which to adhere value. God is concerned predominantly and singularly with Relationship. Not how things relate to each other in a chemical, physical or emotional way, but simply how His creation connects to Him. How we, His beloved, become a part of Him again.

Now be on your guard against crafty speakers who would teach you that all religions are in pursuit of a Universal Oneness. That is just Totalitarian Communism manifested in a Unitarian Religion. Feel free to disagree with me, but see to it that you define those terms for yourself first.

Our God is a Jealous Creator, not a Passionless Energy. He desires the scientifically-undefinable Soul. Not a religiously-convenient Energy. He wants us. Not what Science calls our Consciousness or what Religions call our Life Force. He wants our personages. Something that, frankly, it would be foolish to try and define.

Proverbs 25:27 teaches us that, just as a little honey is sweet but too much makes us sick, so it is with thinking about matters that are too deep. So I'll leave my point of Christianity not fitting within contrasts there.

The final frustration is this: because atonement can be defined legally, but redemption cannot be explained logically, Christ's sacrifice is foolish, and, because the Creator was killed at human hands, the power-hungry religious are left without ground to stand on. However, as Paul said, Christ is the very Wisdom and Power of God.

When we share this Christ with the world, do not expect to win an argument, for it does not appear as wise, and do not expect to impress, because it does appear as strong. Rather, tell people how weak you are. Tell people how foolish you are. Tell people about all the things that God has done in your life and say these things with pride in your God. The world will mock and laugh at us, but we who have been brought to New Life, know also the Power and Wisdom of God.

What is Evil?

There is evil going on in this world. It's important we recognize it. Our battle, though, is not one to be fought against the people Christ died to save, but against the evil that blinds them to his love. 

I am not Muslim, but I think that as Christians we we should be mindful that Islam teaches that the Greater Jihad (striving) is against sin.

They teach that their prophet said, "The fighter against unbelief is he who fights against his ego in obeying God." (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa aalihi wa Sallam.)

So as we pray for the peace of Israel and for the protection of Christians, Jews, Muslims of different denominations, and the Yazidis in Iraq, pray for the protection of the people, all of whom Christ died for, and pray against the evil that has infiltrated the hearts of men.

Ask God to break your heart for the people you hate, so that you can see them through the tearful eyes He must see all His children through this day in age.

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44 NIV)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12 NIV)

Are we really loving like Christ?

There is evil going on in this world. It's important we recognize it. Our battle, though, is not one to be fought against the people Christ died to save, but against the evil that blinds them to his love. 

I am not Muslim, but I think that as Christians we we should be mindful that Islam teaches that the Greater Jihad (striving) is against sin.

They teach that their prophet said, "The fighter against unbelief is he who fights against his ego in obeying God." (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa aalihi wa Sallam.)

So as we pray for the peace of Israel and for the protection of Christians, Jews, Muslims of different denominations, and the Yazidis in Iraq, pray for the protection of the people, all of whom Christ died for, and pray against the evil that has infiltrated the hearts of men.

Ask God to break your heart for the people you hate, so that you can see them through the tearful eyes He must see all His children through this day in age.

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44 NIV)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12 NIV)

Speak Life

This post is meant only for Christians.

Let me start with this picture:

A man who points at the shadows exclaiming, "It's dark there!" is nothing more than a raving lunatic. But the man who brings a candle and lifts it up above himself exposes the darkness and changes the worldview of all those around them.

I have been troubled in my heart over the posts that I have been seeing lately. Christians, or people who are professing to be Christians because they certainly can’t be recognized as such by their actions, are constantly posting criticisms. One slanders other Christians with different theologies, another slanders members of different political parties, another slanders citizens of other countries, and still another slanders those who practice different religions.

Let me be frank. CHRISTIANS DO NOT SLANDER OTHERS. We are commanded in Titus 3:1-2: “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” (NIV)

Then, a Christian might respond to me, are we not commanded in Ephesians 5:11? “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.” (NIV)

We are indeed! This is a clear commandment to those who live as Christians. It says also, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light

But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:8, 13, 15-16 NIV)

In short, our exposition of the darkness is to come by our LIFESTYLE as children of the light.

The infighting and pointing of fingers that the Christian community has become accustomed to is the very behavior that CONFORMS us to the world. We are not called to point out the shortcomings of others.

We are not in conflict with people or a people or with a government or with a school of thought. Our battle is against the darkness.

The light exposes the dark. Our light shines when we live in submission to Christ, as children of light. People recognize Christ in us by how we love one another. Darkness is exposed by how we live.

If we can stop pointing fingers at other people and other schools of thought, and we start pointing toward God and encouraging others to walk in the light, perhaps we can regain the recognition of Christians.

I believe that it is possible that Jesus meant it when He said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35 NIV)

HOW, THEN SHOULD WE BEHAVE WHEN WE FEEL WRONGED?

We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. We have become the scum of the earth, the garbage of the world—right up to this moment. (1 Corinthians 4:12-13 NIV)

WHY DO WE NOT SHOVE OUR OPINIONS IN THE FACES OF NON-BELIEVERS?

The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. (1 Corinthians 2:14 NIV)

WHY DO WE NOT PARTICIPATE IN ARGUMENTS AND DEFEND OUR PRIDE?

You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? (1 Corinthians 3:3 NIV)

WHY DO WE NOT JUDGE THE BEHAVIORS OF THOSE OUTSIDE THE CHURCH?

What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? (1 Corinthians 5:12 NIV)
Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God. (1 Corinthians 4:5 NIV)

WHY DO WE NOT PUBLICLY REBUKE AND BICKER WITH OTHER CHRISTIANS?

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. (1 Timothy 5:1-2 NIV)

WHO DO WE CHALLENGE AND REBUKE?

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12 NIV)

HOW DO WE HELP THOSE IN THE DARKNESS?

Pray for people, not countries, parties, sects, or theologies.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: “May those who love you be secure.” (Psalm 122:26 NIV)

Obey Jesus.

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44 NIV)

Pray for those struggling.

I urge you, brothers and sisters, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me. (Romans 15:30 NIV)

Pray consistently.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV)

Live differently.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2 NIV)

Of Greif and of Sorrow

Death has the remarkable quality of putting life into perspective.

I lost a friend that I worked with this week. It’s been harder to process than I ever would have anticipated and I haven’t been able to stop thinking since. So, I thought I’d write some of my thoughts down.

I have two distinct memories of cussing God out after a death. The first was after my three-month-old nephew died. The second was after my cousin died. In both cases, God was gracious enough to give me answers to “why?” They may not be the whole reason why, but they stopped me from asking more.

My nephew was born with only a brain stem. He would never recognize his family, never speak, never eat on his own, and never even smile of his own volition. The morning he died, I remember going to my brother’s house. After holding my nephew for one last time, I took him to pick up his family from church.

In the car, he told me that he knew that that little boy, his son, would never be able to love him back, give anything back, or even fully appreciate the warmth of his care. Even so, he didn’t realize it was possible to love someone so much and it was because his son could never give anything back, that he did love him more than he knew he could love.

My nephew was adopted with the knowledge of his condition. That was the first glimpse I ever had into God’s love for me and it changed my life.

The day my cousin died, I prayed over him in his hospital bed. I prayed for healing and for peace. I was resentful of God afterwards for not answering my prayer, but at his funeral, I was able to see what He had done. Broken relationships in our family were healed. The Great Physician took his broken body into rest. He was thankful to have the hope of a Savior that he had previously resented. More healing and more peace came to pass than I would have ever thought possible.

In the end, we can never hope to understand the reasons. G.K. Chesterton once said, "The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits."

It is not for us to understand “why?” We may only marvel at “how?” and rest in the knowledge that, while we never were in control, God always is.

I was crying in my parents’ dining room earlier this evening and my mom told me, “You know, I think it’s good that this made you feel this way.” I looked at her, a little irked by that statement and asked why. She said, “If you didn’t, would you ever know that you could?”

Our capacity to grieve is as much a mark of our capacity to love as either one is a mark of our willingness to allow another human being to impact us.

One of the hardest things about someone dying is the guilt of surviving, of not being able to save them. The truth is that it’s pretty arrogant of any of us to say that we could have prevented a death. We were friends. Any of us would have been there if we could have. We may never know why they died and why we couldn’t save them, but we can know that there was a purpose for it, even if we don’t know what. The important thing is that we were friends. It’s also just as important that it’s ok that it hurts that they’re gone.

We should never resent pain. C.S. Lewis said, “The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That’s the deal.” It’s good that we hurt, because that is how we know how much they really mean to us.

We need to feel every bit of that pain- experience it, recognize it, and live in it- if we ever hope to understand the full impact and meaning their life had. That doesn’t make it easy. It is pain, after all. But we don’t need to be afraid of it either. We were never designed to withstand pain on our own.

The most clarifying moment I have ever had as a Christian was when, in the midst of despair, I cried out, “Where are you? What are you doing?” And he quietly whispered back, “I’m right here. I’m holding you. I’m weeping with you.”

The shortest verse in the Bible is, “Jesus wept.” Those two words hold more power, more meaning, more love, and more pain in them than all the songs that have ever been written. The creator was grieved to be separated from his beloved. Love himself was pained at death.

To paraphrase my dad: We’re allowed snapshots of happiness. We may live in joy, but rarely do we laugh full-forced guffaws with uninhibited hearts. In the same way, we’re allowed tastes of sorrow. We may live in a somber state, but rarely does our heart break to the point that we become lost in the agony. I think, in both cases, it is because, were we to be exposed to them for too long, our hearts would burst. The agony, like the joy, is not a bad thing. They are ways of feeling love for a moment, and, while the weight of real love may break us, it will never rest on us long enough to crush us until the day we die ourselves and become immersed in that love in God’s presence. There, in heaven, we can finally experience it in full, glorious force, without fear of our souls tearing from our bodies.

We can’t change the past, but we shouldn’t want to. I will be forever grateful that he was in our lives, even if it was for a short time. The emptiness we feel at his loss means that he filled our lives more than we ever would have realized. I do wish he was still here. I miss him. But it would be so much worse if I didn’t miss him, because that would mean that he didn’t mean as much to me.

Grieving takes time and it’s hard. In the end, though, grieving is a happy thing because it is the process by which we recognize the meaning a person had and will continue to have in our lives, and through that process they are able to speak to our hearts forever.

In a sermon I recently wrote I said this:
“We’ll hear God’s voice when we surrender completely into Him. We’ll hear it in the laughter, in a tear, in the quite moments. We’ll know his gentle whisper even after the winds and earthquakes and fires, and we may even hear it loud as thunder if we dare enter the cloud of his presence. For now, though, we surrender everything to him. We let go, we collapse, we fall…we truly fall in love: we fall into Him.
And here is the simplest and most difficult instruction that I will ever give: let go, be weak, and give up. You are lost. Let God take over.”