You do not need to spend much time in the Old Testament to notice that acts of idolatry are inevitably described as acts of adultery. The Church is not formally referred to as a bride until the New Testament; however, especially in the book of Hosea, God makes clear several times before the arrival of Christ that this is how He views His people. When we turn our backs to Him we are “unfaithful.” When we set up other things in His place we are “whores.”
In the words of T.M. Moore, “Sex, it seems, is to marriage as worship is to the life of faith.”
The word “‘echad” (Ekh-awd’) is found in two predominant places in the Old Testament. The first in the story of Adam and Eve, the second in the Hebrew Declaration, or Sh’mah, which literally translated means “hear” or “listen.” The word, ‘echad, is translated as “one.” What it really means, though, is united, singular, primary, amalgamated, joined, whole, complete. It is the absolute epitome, the archetype, the paragon of oneness.
The Declaration says, “Hear, Israel: The Lord God is the Lord 'echad.” In the story of Adam and Eve we read, “a man will leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two will become 'echad flesh.” This unity is ecumenical - involving the whole Church - and it is intimate - personal. Ecumenically and intimately, though, it is clearly spiritual - it is a God thing.
Don’t worry if this is somewhat confusing. The apostle Paul was a Pharisee, which means he attended the most difficult schools in order to memorize and fully understand the scriptures. Yet, when he considered that phrase from the story of Adam and Even, as he taught on the relationship of husband and wife, he paused to reflect. He wrote, “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”
This unity is a profound mystery. In a word: wonderful. What awe, what reverence, what passion we should have when we are united with God in worship! William Temple describes worship as "a submission of all our nature to God. It is the quickening of conscience by his holiness; the nourishment of mind with his truth; the purifying of imagination by his beauty; the opening of the heart to his love; the surrender of will to his purpose – and all this gathered up in adoration.” You want romance? Spend time with God.
If we had an inkling of the astounding beauty and passion worship holds, we would forsake eating, drinking, sleeping and even breathing but to drown in presence of God. “Better than sex” has never been more of an understatement.
So, here, consider that sex between husband and wife is, as I have established, the Creator God’s allegory of unity between Himself and His creation. Well, first of all, I know that we do not do worship justice; so, I can confidently say that we are not doing sex justice.
Next, consider that this allegory, sex, is undeniably pleasurable for those involved. Add in the multiple references we have to God being “a jealous God” and that the two permissions for divorce given in Leviticus are having sex outside of your marriage and withholding sex inside of your marriage. I can confidently say that God wants us to worship Him. In fact, I would even say that no married person has ever been so frustrated with their partner over lack of sex than God must be with His bride, the Church, for lack of worship. Worship is His right as a Bridegroom.
That’s all well and good. I mean, who doesn’t like talking about sex? It’s sex! Sex, though, is only one part of a marriage, albeit an important part. Any marriage counselor, married person, or even twelve-year-old “relationship expert” will tell you that the most important thing in a relationship is communication. Any sex therapist, married person or, more than likely, the average American student would also tell you that communication is the most important part of sex. Notwithstanding of sex and worship, communication is vital to a healthy relationship.
There are many ways to communicate in a human relationship. You can communicate physically: ignoring, rubbing a back, glaring, winking, etc. Therefore, we should assume, that we can communicate physically with God: ignoring, getting on our knees, flipping Him off, raising our hands to heaven, etc. Researchers say that about 90% of daily communication is non-verbal. How cognizant of that are we in our human relationships? In our relationships with God? What are our daily actions communicating to our Bridegroom? If we don’t have that in check, why would we expect ourselves to have that in check with our spouses? Married or not, get that in check! You owe it to your spouse, present or future.
More than anything, though, we think of communication as talking and listening.
So, are we talking? Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone that was really terrible at talking? Maybe their response to everything is “fine” or “ok” or “good.” Maybe they seem incapable of articulating their desires. Now God already knows our desires and every detail of our day; so, imagine how incredibly frustrating it must be for Him when we will not talk to Him about ourselves. Maybe you’ve known someone who just never seemed to be able to tell you they appreciated you. When was the last time you told God you appreciated Him?
Are we listening? When did you last spend time in prayer where you didn’t say anything? Where you just sat, or laid, and waited on God? He wrote you a 66-chapter, more if you’re catholic, love letter! It tells you all about His character, His likes, His dislikes, what He likes about you, what He thinks about you, what He’s done for you, what He’s doing for you, and how much He cares about you. Have you even read it once? If you don’t take the time to read the love-letter of a Bridegroom that died for you, do you really think you’ll be willing to listen to a human who hasn’t?
God invests in His relationship with us and He expects us to invest in our relationship with Him. The problem is, we are waiting for an event, not working toward a relationship.
Plato introduced the world to the idea of a “soulmate.” If you were lead to believe this was a Christian idea, you bought fool’s gold. Plato explains that Zeus originally created humans with two faces and eight limbs. Fearing their power, though, Zeus split them all in half and we now spend our existence searching for our other half. Plato goes on to explain that we will know when we have found our soulmate when we find someone that we have a consistent emotional, passionate response to and with whom we have fantastic sex. If one of these two things begins to wane, we should keep looking. Hopefully you see the issues that causes and a clear connection with the Western World we now live in.
Plato was wrong in two regards: One- We don’t have soulmates, we have a common savior. Two- his solution to loneliness was event-based, our solution is relation-based.
If your relationship with God is event-based rather that relation-based, your relationship with people will be too. You'll find yourself looking for emotional highs and passionate encounters rather than enjoying those as results of a committed relationship. Do you still believe in God when you're "not feeling it?" Do you think you'll still believe in love when you're "not feeling it?"
Figure out how to communicate with and appreciate God better before you try to figure that out with a person. Seriously, if you can't have a relationship with God, Who is love, how do you expect to have love in a relationship?
“You cannot love a fellow-creature fully till you love God.” -C.S. Lewis
If you want to know a loving relationship, you need to know God. God is love.
People will let you down, but love will not. So, as long as both people in a relationship are focused more on love than they are on themselves or each other, they will not be able to help but love themselves and each other more and more.
Unless you are completely content alone in a relationship with God, able to find satisfaction and purpose by yourself, you will never be content in a relationship. You'll never truly love someone else well and truly accept love from someone if your expectation is that they will fill some void in your life.
God does not bring two people together so that they may become closer to each other, but so that they may become closer to Him.
You could also say that two people aren't brought together just to get love from each other, but to learn how to be loved and how to love others. By living in love, you can love deeper than ever without ever having the fear of losing love because you'll come to find that love cannot be lost. If sex should be a reflection of worship, so too should our relationships with others be a reflection of our relationships with God.
Discussion points:
How often do you pray? How often do you worship? How frustrated would be be if the person you loved only talked to you twice a day? How frustrated would be if your spouse only had sex with you once a week?
There are many times when we feel like the passion has gone out of our relationships, both with God and with people. In an event-based mindset, this can be crippling. In a relation-based mindset, though, this can be an empowering realization allowing us to become more creative and involved in our relationship. Maybe it’s time to try dancing during worship. Maybe you just need to worship outside of corporate worship on Sundays. The ecumenical is great. The intimate is incredible. Get some alone time with God.
Talking is an important part of communication. It allows the other person to know we care. It allows us to know we’ve been heard. It also tends to clear up a lot of confusion. Praying is so important. If we could grasp the importance of praying, maybe we’d spend more time talking in our human relationships.
If you are in a marriage that is suffering from communication or sexual issues, consider that God may be revealing to you a reflection of your current relationship with Him. I’m not saying that turning your focus on a couple toward building that relationship will help your marriage, but…no, yes, I am.
If you are single, stop obsessing over being alone! If you spend a fraction of that energy turned towards thanking God, worshiping Him with passionate abandon, and soaking in His Word to you as His beloved, you would never have the option of feeling lonely.
Take a moment to consider how important Worship is to God and how seriously He takes it. Do you consider sex important? Do you take sex seriously? It may be just an allegory for our relationship with God, but if we can’t even do the allegory right, what makes us think we can do Worship right? If you are having sex outside of marriage, think about what sex means to God. Your adultery can be viewed as idolatry because of what sex symbolizes in God’s design of relationships. Do you take your relationship with God seriously?
