These are from a book I’m writing about love and relationships, long in the making. This includes excerpts from the introductory chapters, from the spirituality chapters and from the co-dependency chapters:
When a ring fits you, you don't even realize it's there. That ring is made for that finger. When you take off a ring that fits after a while, you feel like you're unbalanced - like you're missing a part of you….
Your life-calling and your family are things that are a part of you, of your identity. They are things that you can't help but feel passionately about. When you find that one, that person that was made for you and you for them, you will feel that passion. You will look at them and say, "That's who I am." In one moment you will realize that about them - that they fit just like a ring on your finger. It may be years after meeting them, but, when God has prepared both of you for each other, He will open your eyes to what He already sees….
Treat him or her as a traveling companion and your relationship as a trek worth taking. As with any good adventure, the journey is as important and wonderful as the destination. Don't miss out on it or the destination will seem to be lacking….
It takes a moment to see someone; it takes holding those moments captive to know someone; it takes thousands of captive moments to know someone well. Take your time. It takes decades to begin to discover who you are. It takes a lifetime to begin to discover who they are….
Loving is seeing someone through God's eyes. The more you get to know them - the more of them you see - the more you can love them. You can never stop loving them more, so long as you take the time to get to know them more. But, if you never take the time to get to know them well, you'll never see them as God does and, so, will never love them well. Rushing into a "loving" relationship may be the least loving thing you can do….
Unless you are completely content alone in a relationship with God, able to love yourself by yourself, you will never be content in a relationship, or love someone else well and accept love….God does not bring two people together so that they may become closer to each other, but so that they may become closer to Him….You could also say that two people aren't brought together just to get love from each other, but to learn how to be loved and how to love others. By living in love, you can love deeper than ever without ever having the fear of losing love because you'll come to find that love cannot be lost. People will let you down, but love will not. So, as long as both people in a relationship are focused more on love than they are on themselves or each other, then they will not be able to help but love themselves and each other more and more….If you want a loving relationship, you need to know God. God is love.
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